How much Joy?

Today I was in a storage unit at 20 degrees sorting through the fabrics I am taking for a quilting retreat next weekend. And in spite of freezing fingers I found myself happy to be doing it. Anticipating the way I will stitch together the bright cheerful scraps into some planned and unplanned spontaneous projects. Anticipating time spent with other women friends chatting, laughing, oohinh and ahhing over each other's efforts. 
This supporting and loving and gentle weekend brings me a great chance to be fully in touch with the creative side of myself. I do find myself wondering though how much longer can I just fit these times into the cracks of everyday life before I simply must make them a priority.
Seriously, how long?
Every time  I get close to figuring that out I scare myself with numbers. But numbers do not translate well into things like enjoyment and happiness and peaceful sense of fulfillment.
I tend to undervalue these things and I need to make them the center of my life rather than the bits and pieces I slip into the edges and gaps. 
Finding things that give me joy and finding things that fuel my passion has been my mission through this chapter in my life.  And like all the missions in all the chapters I have lived thus far it is a scary thing to do.
Becoming my own person was one chapter. Escaping the routines of always being seen as someone's sister, cousin, daughter, grand daughter or niece was a revalation. Having the realization that I could be anyone I wanted to be when I was with people who did not know me, had never known me and had no prejudgements was exciting and scary. I was in charge of my own life. 
Developing my intellectual side was another chapter. Going to college, getting a degree and starting a career based on that education were all parts of this cycle of growth. 
Then came Alaska and discovering and developing my female side. Who I was as a woman and sexual being brought me many ups and down. interacting with men at a level I had never explored before. I found my husband in this stage. But I had to go through the other stages before I was ready for this one.
Since then I have been in a less than exciting phase. working full time, being responsible for the day to day living of life, without quite as many moments of excitement and pure growth. And so I think I am approaching the next chapter, but I feel a need to define a bit before I go forward. Maybe my first question should be "How much joy do I want in my life".

mind stretch

Knowing I have 2 art classes to do every week has been a little over whelming. But it has kept my mind open to possibilities all around me.
I like to use recycled materials for art and so I have to keep my eyes and mind open. I grabbed some ice cube trays from the dumpster the other day. I am thinking they would work for paint trays.
I grabbed some slightly used sticker books that will become a drawing project as well as a decoupage project.
Then there are always goodies like rubber stamps for cards, and yarn for weaving and pom poms, rock painting and abstract art.
Not sure what's next I think I have to sit down this weekend and plan some projects for more than just next week. Gotta keep it interesting and fun and different every time. This could be fun.

Creativity: Its just a hobby

Like so many people who craft and have an artsy side most of my creativity is relegated to using it as a hobby. 
I use some of my creativity at work. Applying it problem solving on my own or in collaboration with others, but for the most part I only really put it to use when I have "art time". Sewing, painting... These are time when I surround myself with the materials that I hope to use or transform. Sitting in the middle of my space with fabric piled here and there and paint all lined up on the shelf with brushes near by, boxes and bags and stacks and such just waiting. 
But this just a hobby. 
I have thought about what kind of effort it would take to change this into a "real" job.
By my calculations I would have to produce between 50-100 items and sell them every 10 days.
And while the creation is entirely possible, I need to figure out the marketing end if I am ever going to try doing this. I know people who have shops where they sell what they make and they take work from other artists. They put in the regular shop hours 6 days a week and then they still have to put in the time to make things to fill the shelves. Now one friend I know is lucky enough to have a spouse who is part of the business. He makes things as well as running the shop for her now and then. They also drag their adult daughters into things to either run the shop when they are off site selling at shows and fairs or to booth sit and sell. So really it is a 4-5 person operation and the daughters have regular jobs and the husband is retired. they work very hard for their money and it is far from a hobby for them.
For myself I still work full time, and I need the flexibility to take off on fishing trips and family visits and just enjoying this amazing place I live. I do not know if I ever could really make my creative side my primary income source. For now I think it will stay a hobby.

New Opportunities

I am excited. I have an opportunity to do an art lesson with students twice a week. I will be working with upper el kids on Tuesdays and lower el on Thursday. This will be fun and possibly a little messy. But now I need to pull together plans and supplies and figure out directions for either 7 year olds or 9-13 year old.
I need projects that will either dry quickly or can be taken home that day. I may have to see if there is a bulletin board I can use to post some of the projects on.
 Painting, weaving, dying, cutting, pasting, gluing, stamping, drawing, sewing, tearing, All such fabulous action word that make my heart sing.
But I must not forget the words sharing, cleaning, helping, and thank you.
Where to go first?

I know I have easy access to paper, paint, glue and yarn. Time to have some fun.

Watching the passion of others

As I was sitting thinking about the guilty pleasure shows I watch on TV or netflix etc. The list seemed a mixed bag at first glance:
River monsters
Master chef Junior
Anything with David Attenborrough
Cake boss
sewing shows
 quiltings shows
nature shows
Science shows
And while these are all things I like, what really drives the shows is the passion that the "stars" have for their lives.
 they do what they do because they Love what they do. and the shows are just an externalization of that passion.
They would fish, bake, sew, travel... because that is what they do. And you know even if the cameras all stopped running they would still fish, bake, sew, travel...
My hope is that like all inspiring people there are sparks being ignited by that passion. When I watch those who passionately love teaching I hope that not only do they foster a love of learning but that their passion for what they do sparks other to love teaching.
And the fire is passed along from one person to another.

Derivative Art

This is not a blog about art that is inspired by that which has gone before or about art that blatantly rips off the work of another artist. This is about art that seeks to carry on a legacy from the artist. 
Art that is inspired by another often turns out as good or better works than those of the original artist, because there is still a strong spark of original creativity.

Art that is a forgery of another persons work carries nothing but the brush strokes, or glazes or ink work of the original. Tediously duplicated in a good forgery, that sadly should never take place.

But the art I mean is that where they try to duplicate the style, color, texture of the original and push it to new forms or subjects or plots. And I have found that these efforts almost always miss some essential component. Maybe it is the passion that drove the original author, painter, cartoonist, sculptor... It is a shadow of what the original author could have created. And I think many people are willing to buy that shadow, because they crave more from the original artist and like a dieter eating frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, "Its better than nothing".

 Examples might be when they write an original script for a James Bond movie, that misses the silly innuendos or puts together the dialog without consideration for the long term relationship between characters. These relationships have a past present and future for the original author, but the screen writer sees things only in the moment, because they do not own that world in their head.

And I am Sorry the Star Wars the Force Awakens is another example. It was put together to make sure it hit every cliche and standard predictable plot line, but it lacked passion. it lacked the nuanced interaction between people who have a history or are creating a history. It lacked humor.
Sigh How sad!

I will keep my eyes open for original works and support the passion of the true creators.

Process without Objective

I have been thinking a bit about process. I know people for whom process is everything. They draw, paint, write, do meditation, yoga, play music to be present in that moment. Achievement, goal, end game is not why they do it.  Perfection or even improvement is not their focus either. It does not matter to them if the drawing ends up in the fireplace, they do not strive to play before an audience. These are processes they do to calm, center, and strengthen their connections with themselves. It is a process that does not lead them anywhere except inside themselves and inside the moment.

I have times like this as well, but I do not have a consistent process for this. When I find the time to indulge my creative self I think guilt makes me want to produce something. Finding a way to justify the time I have spent on practicing process has been important. Time as well as money are commodities I seldom just give myself permission to use freely without a goal, or objective to show for it. 

I want to be selfish. I want to give myself the gift of process without an expectation of payoff. I am not sure yet how this will happen. Maybe take a class, maybe just find time alone with paper and pencil, maybe spend time sitting alone by the river. Maybe all those and more.

I hope everyone gets the chance to explore process in the coming year. And I hope they can let themselves do it without guilt.

Happy New Year.